DISCLAIMER: Because of the potentially foul language, sexually explicit scenarios or other graphic situations, you must be 18 years or older to view this material. By doing so, you also agree that OFSA is NOT liable for damages to you of any kind.
Summary from the Library of Congress cataloging-in-Publication Data: As he enters into his first relationships as a gay man, a college freshman recalls the aching loneliness of life with his alcoholic physically abusive father in a community prejudiced against homosexuals.
Excerpts/Notes:
* Inside of the book jacket notes this book to be for ages 12 & up (OFSA emphasis added to age). * Comment from the back cover from Francesca Lia Block**:
*As schools continue to teach tolerance, acceptance, and critical thinking, keep in mind that there are more than just openly gay characters in this book. A.L.’s Uncle C. is an old man who is gay and has a “friend” in this book. The truth becomes more clear, but never stated bluntly, when A.L. reflects back on his uncle’s death. His uncle and his “friend” [not living together] do also criticize A.L.’s grandmother for her “intolerance.” Within the scope of critical thinking, one could automatically assume that his uncle is gay simply by reading a few pages. Part of critically analyzing a work entails the finding of symbolism and other messages not clearly stated. Keep in mind that I did not find this as part of a required reading list in any school, nor am I a certified teacher. This is only to say that after learning how to apply critical thinking, students might start reading many things in a different light, and ergo it is possible to find that “hidden” message if they were to read this book.
* Words found in this book are “hell,” “shit,” “fuck,” “goddam,” “bastard,” and “faggot.” Most are used frequently throughout the book.
“‘WHAT THE HELL!’ Professor H. thunders. …as echoes of his voice bounce off the back wall – hell, hell, hell…(p.3)”
A.L. is talking about the assistant to the professor:
[Critical Analysis: Mr. S. the teaching assistant is actually flirting with A.L.]
“Yeah, that’s what he’d [his father] do, the bastard (p.7).”
A.L. is still talking about his father, “…drunk as usual and dangerous…can smell the beer on his breath…he swears at a car…too many beers since his glory days….more years and beers later when he finally does have a heart attack and die…perhaps I’m what eventually kills him or at least the disappointment I bring…causes him to drink…” (pp.11-12).
A.L. reflects on the time a school bully teased him and why his father hated him. He remembers how his dad caught B**** [the bully] in an alleyway. His dad is drunk when he confronts the bully with A.L. standing there, and he tries to make A.L. hit B**** for picking on him (p.14):
A.L.’s dad calls him a “coward,” B**** tells A.L. he will “whip” his dad…that he “can whip his ass” because he witnessed A.L.’s dad kick him (p.16).
A.L. repeatedly tells his mom his dad “hates” him…“her face pinched with anxiety, looking as if she expects the old man to pop up out of the drain…and kill us both (p.16).”
A.L. is jogging when he runs into Mr. S. [the teaching assistant].
“Bastard” (p.22).
He again runs into Mr. S. at the library…they bump into each other and Mr. S. states “Meeting cute hurts” (p.24). They talk about Professor H. Mr. S. tells A.L. “I forgot; you have a crush on him [the professor]” (p.25). [Critical Analysis: Flirting]
“Do I have a crush on him?” [A is questioning his self about the professor]…his is the only biography I looked up…maybe something is going on in my hidden heart…I was afraid someone would discover me…something to be ashamed of (p.72).
A.L. is reflecting on his childhood in the next few excerpts:
“AW, SHIT!” from my father…“Aw, shit,” from the bedroom…"Hell no…”…he [A.L.’s dad] was already half-drunk…didn’t lurch or stagger when he was drunk…”what the hell…” he grabbed me by the shoulder…”Goddam you…”… “Who the hell do you think you are?” [his father is the one doing all of the swearing]…”Shit…” he slapped me….put my hand against it [his cheek]…saw blood…his [dad’s] high school football ring had cut my cheek…he seemed sober now…hitting me had scared him…(pp.105-109).
His dad gets him to church where A.L. sees his friend E***. E*** sees the cut on his cheek.
E**** makes a confession about his father, who committed suicide:
The pastor starts his sermon:
E*** interrupts the pastor:
The pastor tells E*** that he is a confused boy and calls on him to repent, but E*** states, “I don’t have anything to repent…haven’t done anything sinful…nothing wrong with who I am (p.123).”
On the next page, A.L. is thinking about Evan…“other stuff was bullshit…he wasn’t anything like the awful things people said about gay men.”
A.L.’s parents come into his room...and his mom takes a softer tone, but his dad is blunt in his statements:
…that night it gave me my first wet dream…about E*** (p.126).
“Fuck you…and fuck you, too…you fuckin’ faggot, you’ve ruined my fuckin’ life (p.127).”
E*** has things thrown at him, but tells A.L. he will wait until he graduates and then move to a larger city where “people may be more tolerant” (p.138). A.L. wants to go with E***:
E***’s younger brother confronts him and there is a crowd of boys and they also gang up on E***:
P**** [a female friend of A.L.’s] wants A.L. to do something when they begin beating E*** unconscious.
A.L. thinks that if he defends him, then others will know he is “a faggot, too (p.144).” So P**** throws herself on top of E*** and his younger brother threatens her, too.B**** [the one who used to pick on A.L.] doesn’t want to beat up on a girl, E***’s brother calls B**** a “faggot, too”…B**** says, “God…fuck you (p.145)”.
When E*** is in the hospital, A.L. does tell him he loves him and wants to go with him, but E*** refuses to take him because is a minor (p.149).
The next chapter is back in the present: Professor H. can be a real bastard (p.156).
He then invites A.L. over to his house for Thanksgiving. Mr. S. finds out and invites A.L. over to his house instead, but A.L. wants to go to the professor’s house. Mr. S. takes a jealous tone with A.L.:
A.L. now at the professor’s house…I get up and gladly melt into his arms…turn my face up to be kissed…the professor gets upset,
A.L. reflects back on his senior year in high school: He remembers “observing” B****, the one who used to pick on him when he was younger. A.L. agrees to tutor B****, but not without first lecturing him about high school…
Now A.L. is trying to leave B****, who apologized for fighting with him…
…thinking he [B****] was going to hit me…he didn’t hit me. He kissed me…our bodies touched and the tension snapped…his arms went up to catch…me…no surprise…liberating release…touchdown…(pp.181-183).
B**** tells A.L. twice that he loves him…I felt invincible and wanted to protect b**** from his secret vulnerability…wish there were dragons so I could protect him from them, too…
[at school] B**** would make a move…engineer a little intimacy…no one would know except us…eyes would lock…our secret…special life…they talk about being “happy”…he [B****] grabbed me and pulled me close…I relaxed against him…each time it seemed more natural…I was with him in our abandoned house, I felt complete…together we were a family…people thought it was wrong for two boys to be in love with each other, or because one person, the old man [A.L.’s dad] would think it was wrong? Queer. That was a shit reason…What the hell, I thought…and put my arms around him [B****](pp.183-186).
…when my mind had started to wander again, “Fuck!” he’d [B****] shout…then he’d storm back and grab me and our bodies would take over and supply their own urgent answers…(pp.187).
…M******, a girl kisses A.L. on the cheek after graduation…his dad comments, “Well…it looks like you’ve been teaching her something…” And he winked at my mother…I thought, how would they look if that had been B**** who’d just rushed up and kissed me…I had to tell them…
A.L. is fixing to go out when his mother says, “Don’t stay out too late,”…”Ah, let him alone,” my father said…(pp.189-190).
A.L. goes to see B****. [B****] brought a bottle of champagne…they spent the night together…
he goes home…his dad is talking: “So…did she [M******] give you your graduation present (pp.190-191)?”
So there it was: my out. My easy out…a little betrayal of B****…what we were together…wink, wink, nudge, nudge, she gave me my present all right—all night long…gift that keeps on giving…Sorry, Daddy, your white hats aren’t going to win this time…took a deep breath.
A.L.’s mom thinks he is confused and his dad is enraged: “Jesus Christ, a faggot, my son’s a fuckin’ faggot…Jesus, get out, get out of my house an’ never come back…Jesus, faggot, out.” …I smiled…it sounded like he was performing an exorcism…I walked slowly out of my father’s house…didn’t look back. Not once…(pp.192-193).
He goes to the abandoned house where B**** is…
he [B****] pulled me down to the floor with him and held me and made soothing noises at me and put a hand at the back of my head and pushed it into his chest…the rhythm of his heartbeat…soothed the screams…he rocked me…and said “it’s okay, it’s okay”…I fell asleep (pp.193-194).
[B***] grins at me through his split lip…“He fights pretty good, your old man…think he likes to fight…don’t think he liked it when I kicked his butt.” …a cut on his [B****] cheek…He’ll have a scar there, I think…we’re too different…I start to run…I don’t look back (pp.194-195).
A.L. is back in the present, running and runs into Mr. S.:
*Inside of the book jacket, at the back of the book discusses the author, Michael Cart:
* In an ALA article, the ALA notes that Cart is a former board member but still participates in the ALA. It also announces that Cart will chair the 2005 YALSA Best of the Books for Young Adults Preconference in Chicago (already passed) (“Meet Michael Cart”). This article notes that Michael Cart believes the now deceased Robert Cormier “is the single most important author in the history of the YA literature genre (“Meet Michael Cart”).” [Article retrieved July 17, 2005 from American Library Assocation].
* Incidentally, a July 18, 2005 Press Release from PABBIS notes that “the ALA considers young adults to be 12 - 18 years old.” What an advantage for Mr. Cart and others who write such filthy material.
* OFSA has recorded some books by Cormier found in school library databases during the earlier stages of research, and will have more available. For now, feel free to review excerpts from the two current Cormier books already listed. These are also available at the PABBIS website at www.pabbis.org. Please remember that PABBIS provides content on their website that may contain “controversial and potentially objectionable or inappropriate material in a book.”
Research by M. Lyn